The Preparation

Assalamualaikum w. b. t & morninggggg!

I've been missing for a while now. I know. Lol
There's a lot going on in my life lately.. And honestly, I have no idea on what to post. 
Anyhow, I am really glad to say that I'm no longer a student. Yeayy! 
I just finished my last exam for my last semester of diploma on 9th April.
Insha-Allah, I'll be a diploma graduate soon! :D
(Dengan harapan semua subject pass. Aamiin!)

And I'm still thinking either to continue my degrees, or directly find a job, or work while studying. Hmm
If I'm going to make decision based on my dream career, it'll be continuing my degrees.
If the decision is made based on a daughter's love for her parents, it'll be getting a job.
If the decision is made based on me getting married soon, it'll be working while studying.. So I can help my husband in terms of finance! Hmmm

But the question is.... Who's the man that is willing to marry me? Wahhahahaa.
Okay, the last choice is totally disqualified. Its just another unsuccessful dream~ Sobsobsobs.
Xpa, jodoh berdua itu pasti ada! I'll just have to be patient and wait! ;)

You know, sometimes.. I feel like my heart is aching, it hurts so bad in the inside, i feel like wanting to shout, to scream, to cry my heart out. You know the feeling of jealousy but you know you cant be jealous. The feeling of wanting someone but you know you cant have them. The feeling of wanting them to love you just the way you love them but you know its impossible. The feeling of wanting them to give their heart to you fully but you know they have someone in line. The feeling of wanting them as your soulmate, but you know he's not ready to think it that way yet. 

It really does hurt deep down in the heart. Really. It does. He can just say "I texted with this girl, blablabla" or "That girl is really cute! Blablabla" and I'm already crying. Lol. Thats how hurt my heart could be. I never know I am that strong to keep everything in until the time where all my tears burst out rolling from my eyes. I know I keep on thinking something negative, and it really hurts me. But then I know how to calm myself down. So I dont need anyone to comfort me coz I know Allah is always there. I know my soulmate has been prepared for since birth. I know HE has created a perfect one for me. And I know, if its meant to be, it will be no matter what. 

It really does calm me down in some point. It will happen one day.. But not today. Let fate decides. Let time flies. Let it go the way it should. All I need to do is improve myself. Be a better muslimah. Be a better person. Be a better daughter. Be a better sister. Be a better friend. The time will come, so as death. Lol. Xpa la. Kalo pun mati awal, tetap juga bertemu jodoh di syurga. Teeheeeeeee.

Every inch of Allah's plan is perfect. Everything is perfect. Everything happens for a reason. I know.
I always think twice before saying something. But when I do, I regret it. But then, kalau memang jodoh, we will be together. No matter how annoying I am. Tu ja. Titik. Sama juga kalau teda jodoh, tidak juga akan bersama. So why buang masa dengan bercinta dan mengharap. Hm.. 

Anyhow, if anything ever happened, remember this:
“…Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” [az-Zumar 39:10].

And sebagai penutup post......

Hoho. Thats all. Tata peeps~
Thanks for spending your time reading this ;}

P/s: Tajuk post tidak sesuai dengan post. I know. Haha. Told ya I dont have any ideas on what to post! Tata~